New domain - https://herawritings.wordpress.com/

Dear readers,
I am delighted to inform you that I established a new domain for my writings. From now on, you can read my texts on the following link: https://herawritings.wordpress.com/ 
Many thanks for your attention and support.
Love, Hera

The lights Are On, But No One's Home! (Postcard No.5)

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Besides my ordinary obsession for seeking the hidden meanings in everything, recently, I gave a thought to obvious meanings which are often ignored nowadays, such as the meaning of your birth name. 

My name is Aida, even though I never felt as it belongs to me or that represents me in any way.  

Since always, I react mechanically turning my head to the direction of coming voice calling out my name, understanding that it refers to me, but not feeling it as a part of my identity. 

There was no place for Aida in my nameless egocentric cosmos for a long time. It is possible that I had a distance from my own name, because I was surrounded with a lot of namesakes. Each name has it's 15 minutes of fame and marks a few generations in bizarre circles of fashionable repetition. Among few others, Aida is most common Muslim name in Bosnia. Origin of name is Arabic and it means the visitor, guest. 

In my mindset of understanding, all Aida's I ever known were stable and ordinary characters applicable to Bosnian mentality, moral values and the common name. Living in the present moment without any aim or sanity,  I simply could not see the connection between my name and myself, or at least my projection of what I found to be me, nor I could linked myself with all known women called Aida. It was a strange combination of wanderlust, melancholy and ignorance pointed to something which is part of you, but which you did not had a chance to chose for yourself. 

I did not understand it before, but now it is clear to me; the given name is a custom made gift. It is a hand made birthday card! It is a home made baked cake! It is a special gift made of clay from your daughter for a Mother's day! 

All mom's are mom's but each of them is special! 

The moment when you get a chance to chose a gift for your own birthday or anniversary, it becomes a moment when the magic is gone. The gift turns our to be the order. Surprise effect is replaced with expectation. The birthday is not special anymore, the anniversary is forgotten; Without the gift the special day is an ordinary day. 

No one is ready to give up on it's own uniqueness. Therefore, do not despite your given name; it is part of who you are.

I gave a thought to my life and seeing it as a flashback I understood that my name may not belong to me exclusively, due to the fact that is not so rare and remarkable, but that my life is entirely applicable to the meaning of my name. It became clear to me, that my nomadic life style was determinate with my given name. I truly believe everything is a part of a Great plan of the Creator. 

I never understood the sayings in style of "home, sweet, home" neither I felt as "being at home" in Sarajevo. I constantly had and I still have the feeling like the home is somewhere else, beyond the reach, somewhere faraway, somewhere where I never been before, away from everything I tried to consider as my own.  

Yet in the same time, I feel all places, all present moments and other people in my heart. I feel freedom in movement, not in terms of being temporary located somewhere, but constantly being distanced from any kind of material belongings and ownership, connecting with random souls, sleeping in the different houses, seeking for meanings beyond and above. Travelling during the nights. Daydreaming about impossible. Falling in love constantly. Loving only for sake of love. Allowing to get inspired. Learning from others. Crying for every recognized beauty or sorrow. Feeling alive and being grateful.  Life is only the path and it takes you on the starting point. If you follow it, it will take you to Whom you belong.

I am only a guest and visiting the other people's dreams, stories and hearts makes me feel at home. Being still but traveling miles with my emotions and thoughts made me realize that home is not a place to be; my hart is my home.

Experiencing with your soul that everything in life is borrowed will set you free. Sharing everything you think you have will paradoxically learn you that the only truly thing you owe at least on this world and in this moment is your soul. 

Turn the light on! 

Stay in touch with your soul; it is a place to be- it's home.  

So, leave the computer and put that chips aside! (Postcard no.4)

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There are people who appreciate and enjoy the solitude and I am one of them. We are doing fine, we are good by default, we work hard and when we do not, we work for pleasure. We try to overcome the unspecified needs constantly pushing our limits. This emotional needs, which (seen with our eyes) occur all over the sudden we choice to ignore, hoping denial will erase them from our hearts and souls and set us free. Free from humanity, empathy, humbleness or love!

 In our everyday life, while our promised future becomes today or yesterday, within our hearts we are overcoming the obligations we invented in order to achieve wealth and as we believe for our own good, but paradoxically under the idea of doing something for ourselves, we are doing against ourselves. Distraction, interaction, superficiality. The truth is the work overload is a getaway. The work is a cure to overdose with. 

Occupation lose the game once when you realize that your solitude is becoming loneliness or conscious isolation. I prefer to say that there is a shadow of sorrow which follows solitude. I believe you can simply step into either of it, without being aware, leading your decision into the intense trap. 

The moment when solitude becomes loneliness is when you realize that there are common things you would and you should enjoy in sharing with someone. Everyday situations, often totally bizarre ones, are the sparks of happiness.

You think about this 'someone' whit distance and sadness, because you do not understand who you actually miss. But, it is no one in particular; you miss emotional interaction with similar people. So, the solitude is wonderful until it stops to be. Regardless how introvert and comfortable you are in being alone and cherishing it, there are times you have to recognize that things you love are harming you. 

If your friends live in your computer, then find a person or a few people for who you feel you can share your interests with; those individuals who are easy to roll with, the ones who does not have to be introduced or to tolerate the difference, because they accept it from the beginning.  

Meet people live for walks and talks, for coffees and ice-creams! Meet them, dream about them, be with them! Social interactions and solitude are only appreciated when they follow each other. Do more of what makes you happy, but what includes others as well. Do sports or do drinks! Dance until the morning or have a picnic! Watch the stars is must! Laughing is must! Hugs are must!  Connecting with others on the deep human level is a new collection of the social skills in Spring 2106!  Engaging into and maintaining the true relations, building the tenderness and compassion, empathy and affection is the opportunity to be able to recognize and to use the best outcomes of your solitude moments. Because, people who are spending time with themselves in long contemplation are able to recognize the needs of ones they care for; they are capable to make a room for other person's needs and to create the safe zone for other person's feelings. I truly believe people are connected with their souls. 

So, leave the computer and put that chips aside!

Emotional balance is something which person has to achieve for oneself, and regardless of how much of solitude you need or apply in your life, it feels good to know that you are not alone and that someone is waiting to see you soon.

 

In this relations and those moments, the solitude becomes inspiration. 

Behave yourself and never mind the rest (Postcard no.3)

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I would like to introduce you with the term of jihad. The meaning of this Arabic word is mostly misinterpreted and often translated as "holy war", but in pure linguistic sense it means the act of "striving, applying oneself, struggling, persevering". Regardless the fact are you religious or not, we all fight our major jihad within us. 

On daily bases we all struggle with choices and  decisions to be made, we contemplate about right and wrong in accordance with our morality and/or religion, but we ignore to name this process. Life is a long path full of road signs which do not lead you anywhere in particular, but which light up choices of your own making; some of them are easily noticeable, the others are hidden behind the tree brunches, but if we observe carefully, we will spot them with our peripheral vision. Off course, the signs can be ignored as well. It is a personal choice. We can take a road which we do not know where will take us, but for which we strongly feel that is the right one. 

The only right advice I could share is to follow your heart, even though I am aware how cheap this sounds. But, it is the truth. The only problem is misinterpretation of the phrase. I believe it sounds like a second-hand quotation to most of you, but the the simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. The heart is  beginning and the end of cosmos. The first place where one has to start self-seeking as well as seeking for God is ones heart.  I believe and strongly feel that all humans have a choice to follow one of their inner voices through the life: First one would be voice of mind which can help one to achieve great things; The other is voice of soul which can open different dimensions of understanding; The third one is voice of heart which seeks the truth. 

I advice my mind and soul from time to time, but I exclusively follow my heart. It reveals to me the meaning of my life; reveals my purpose in this world; reveals use of overwhelming love I fell for everyone and everything, and nevertheless, it reveals my obsession with truth. God is in everything, but everything is not a God. He is not born, but he is alive. He lives in my heart, He is a truth. He is the love I feel for everyone and everything exiting. I want to get close to Him; I want Him to be pleased with me.  

So, I behave and I never mind the rest. I behave not for people, not for expression of myself, nor impression of others, I behave because I feel the need to follow the truth and love I feel within me. Kill your ego and you will free yourself. Get ride off your ignorance and you will be happy. Feel unconditional love towards everyone and everything existing, to be able to love that charming boy who sleeps in your bed while you are reading this, or your cat which is sitting on your window right now. 

Behave yourself in accordance with your inner voices; constantly be aware of your jihad and as much as it seams to be difficult, constantly try to be on the path of your beliefs. Life is a journey and you are not suppose to arrive anywhere. As Beatrix Potter said: Behave yourself and never mind the rest. Find a balance and maintain it in your daily life. Live like you will die tomorrow and work like you will leave for eternity. Constantly have in mind that love rules the world and be generous, honest and tender to all living creatures. Let your actions be led by love you feel and you will be able to feel the accomplishment even in the smallest actions.  Believe and live your believes. Dream and live your dreams. Love and feel love. 

Love people, but if you are not capable of loving them, then respect them. Never harm, even if you were harmed by others. Love and happiness can only be found within oneself, but can be reflected to others. If you can, try to inspire the other people to love; to overcome their fears, to live their dreams, to find their happiness. 

Embrace your jihad and never mind the rest. 

Pray, love and contemplate (postcard no.2)

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“Thank you,” the old man said. He was too simple to wonder when he had attained humility. But he knew he had attained it and he knew it was not disgraceful and it carried no loss of true pride.” 

The Old Man and the Sea, Ernest Hemingway

Humans lost their humility somewhere on the highway of time. We are to occupied with proving we are worth of things and recognition which does not have any true meaning. Our hearts became empty empires where only the superficial longings can be found in the darkness.

What happen to the spirit? Where the souls vanished? Our hearts are ghost towns and we are sadly proud of it. Blindly, we are trying to justified our ignorance to ourselves with delusion, 'nothing can hurt us anymore', just because we were disappointed, humiliated or hurt once upon a time. We pay more attention to the appearance rather than to the essence of anything and everything.

We take care of our bodies and practice regularly, but do we take care of our souls and our hearts? If so, than how? 

We miss something and we are not able to detect what that exactly is; we are ready to grab that  'something' in the moment we recognize it, but are we capable for acknowledgement? 

What will you say after you read that our eternal longing is the longing for the love of God? Feel free to deny. It is a personal choice. 

It is also a personal path. Those who seek shall find what they are seeking for. For me, existence of God is a fact. For others perhaps is not, but no one can deny the divine force of perfect order and movement in the Universe. Observe the nature! Stare at the sea. Admire is's movement and force. Try to imagine what is under the surface that you did not had chance to see on the documentary TV shows. Think about the known world and yourself. Think about all people before you and the ones whom will come after. Think about your transience and feel proud to be part of harmonic cosmos. Think about others whom are alike; think about those whom are less lucky than you. Think about death as essential part of a life. Nevertheless, think about the world as a master piece. 

And you shall be able to understand the fragments and you shall find the path which will led you back to your heart. 

The love you are looking for is also looking for you. The love is not only the significant person in your life. Neither a religion is the occupation of retired people. Love and truth are worth of living and dying for. 

Learn to overcome your ego. Learn to feel constant hunger for knowledge. Learn to obey and to be humble. Accept that each person has their inner small doubts and fears within their inner small cosmos, but also believe that everyone is worth of  love and respect. 

Embrace the religion you feel close to, or revive the one you were given when you were born, but you rejected afterwards. Trust in Beloved One and in yourself. 

Pray, love and contemplate. 

Your Love Is Poetry (postcard no.1)

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Love is divine feeling and belongs to Beloved One, Whom plant the hidden seed within humans hearts. It has a great opportunity to grow, if we water it regularly and if we expose it to Light. Elizabeth Barrett Browning wrote:

“No man can be called friendless who has God and the companionship of good books.” 

Regardless aforementioned, people are seeking for other people's love and affection. Each of us needs an ally on our path. We need someone to hold our hand and to whip off our fear of death, fear of pain and nevertheless, our fear of transience. 

So we love; we love individuals whom inspires us to be better person, those ones whom trust in us, the ones whom admires us and perhaps, they love us too.

The purest love shall be unconditional love, but I am doubting human's capability to maintain a course of cherishing such a profound emotion. Unfortunately, above everything else, we are simply humans, therefore, we hold an expectations and arrogance, not understanding clearly against whom; against other person or against ourselves.  

More poetry is needed indeed. But, we need to read it from another angle. We need to gravitate towards the idea of being the author, rather than the muse. Being the one whom is inspired with eternity, with unconditional love, with God, with pureness, with simplicity of someone's daily habit, with someone's appearance or someone's inner vulnerability.   

In order to feel love, at least the part of complexity that love contains, we need to expose ourselves, we need to reveal ourselves, we need to allow for our hearts to be touched and fractured into the smallest peaces by others.  

Because you cannot learn how to feel, neither how not to feel. 

Therefore, you cannot choose whom to love; you can only dive into love or ignore it once when you become aware of your emotions. 

You can read the poetry, relate to it and analyse it, but once when you start to wish you wrote it instead of wishing that it was written for you, you will be capable to contribute towards unconditional love. 

I trust humans are believers, I trust humans are tender lovers, but I am witnessing the lack of honesty, the lack of braveness, the lack of understanding, the ignorance and arrogance. Unfortunately, love does not live in those hearts, neither the empathy. Some people are building empire of emptiness in their hearts. They are delusional while thinking that that is a shield which will protect them from harm. 

To be touched by love, the one needs to experience the tears of sorrow as well as tears of joy.  Let us be moved by divine force; moved forward to understanding of existence, of beauty, of present moment and

death. 

Love is poetry and shall make you cry. 

Hidden meaning behind the truth and a man within me

Men and women are using words differently, even when they are trying to express similar feelings, ideas or fears. I write and I talk as a woman, what I am, but I prefer a men way of using language. I find it to be more reduced in terms of being more clean, precise and honest. There is a theory that men are using more of their commonsense, while women are more focused on their emotions. As much as this perspective is referring to science (if anyhow), it seams like stereotype to me. 

Within my point of view this simplifying of perspective is on the same level as the idea that pink is a color for girls, while blue is reserved for boys. I love blue, I am blue, and nevertheless, I look very sexy in my marine blue short spring dress. 

I have a problem with women's need for complexity. They love issues, and they can spot them all around themselves. If there is no problem, there is an issue, off course. He did something or he did not do anything. He called or he did not called after all. He did what she wanted him to do, but he did not do it 'her way'.  

Then the hidden meanings! It is disturbing to analyze every men opinion or small talk, but that is what friends are for, right? It seams to me that women establish this general belief that all men are poets. No one would appreciate it more than I, but unfortunately, the men are only painfully honest and what they say it means exactly that; there is no hidden meaning. If he says he is not interested, that most certainly does not mean he loves you but he is afraid of commitment. Please, learn that rejection is a natural part of human relations and it should not affect your self-esteem.  How is different when you reject a man and when a man rejects you? Do not be a hypocrite. 

You see, I am not better then other women, but I am surly more honest and probably more brave. To tell you the truth, that did not took me anywhere need understanding; it only made things more difficult for me and for my potential partners or the one whom were my partners.  I am a women with the male principals; It is a weapon of mass destruction. 

In one of my very important love stories and partnerships, a man told me in affect that I am not a woman; that I just look like a woman, but that essentially I am a man in woman's body. Due to my hipper sensible nature (surprisingly, it gets on well with the man in me) and due to the fact that this words came from my loving partner, they deeply hurt my feelings. But, the main reason why something which was said in affect was able to hurt me is the truth in those words. Only you can be onto your inner truism.  I am the truth addict and I respect to meet the truth, even when it is opposite of what I expected to learn. 

So, face yourself first of all. Then you will be able to respect yourself and everyone and everything what surrounds you; including other person opinion or other person perspective.

Most likely, there is a man within me and I cherish him a lot. But, in the other hand, it is obvious that there was no man within my ex partner; otherwise, he would face me.