So, leave the computer and put that chips aside! (Postcard no.4)

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There are people who appreciate and enjoy the solitude and I am one of them. We are doing fine, we are good by default, we work hard and when we do not, we work for pleasure. We try to overcome the unspecified needs constantly pushing our limits. This emotional needs, which (seen with our eyes) occur all over the sudden we choice to ignore, hoping denial will erase them from our hearts and souls and set us free. Free from humanity, empathy, humbleness or love!

 In our everyday life, while our promised future becomes today or yesterday, within our hearts we are overcoming the obligations we invented in order to achieve wealth and as we believe for our own good, but paradoxically under the idea of doing something for ourselves, we are doing against ourselves. Distraction, interaction, superficiality. The truth is the work overload is a getaway. The work is a cure to overdose with. 

Occupation lose the game once when you realize that your solitude is becoming loneliness or conscious isolation. I prefer to say that there is a shadow of sorrow which follows solitude. I believe you can simply step into either of it, without being aware, leading your decision into the intense trap. 

The moment when solitude becomes loneliness is when you realize that there are common things you would and you should enjoy in sharing with someone. Everyday situations, often totally bizarre ones, are the sparks of happiness.

You think about this 'someone' whit distance and sadness, because you do not understand who you actually miss. But, it is no one in particular; you miss emotional interaction with similar people. So, the solitude is wonderful until it stops to be. Regardless how introvert and comfortable you are in being alone and cherishing it, there are times you have to recognize that things you love are harming you. 

If your friends live in your computer, then find a person or a few people for who you feel you can share your interests with; those individuals who are easy to roll with, the ones who does not have to be introduced or to tolerate the difference, because they accept it from the beginning.  

Meet people live for walks and talks, for coffees and ice-creams! Meet them, dream about them, be with them! Social interactions and solitude are only appreciated when they follow each other. Do more of what makes you happy, but what includes others as well. Do sports or do drinks! Dance until the morning or have a picnic! Watch the stars is must! Laughing is must! Hugs are must!  Connecting with others on the deep human level is a new collection of the social skills in Spring 2106!  Engaging into and maintaining the true relations, building the tenderness and compassion, empathy and affection is the opportunity to be able to recognize and to use the best outcomes of your solitude moments. Because, people who are spending time with themselves in long contemplation are able to recognize the needs of ones they care for; they are capable to make a room for other person's needs and to create the safe zone for other person's feelings. I truly believe people are connected with their souls. 

So, leave the computer and put that chips aside!

Emotional balance is something which person has to achieve for oneself, and regardless of how much of solitude you need or apply in your life, it feels good to know that you are not alone and that someone is waiting to see you soon.

 

In this relations and those moments, the solitude becomes inspiration. 

Unconventional family, Tolstoy's opening line and Disneyland

Thanks to my choice of living I have had a chance to understand and to experience the Tolstoy's opening line of Ana Karenina: All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.

Sometimes we have a family days, my ex-husband, our daughter and I. We spent all week or more together like a regular family. It is fun, like a going to Disneyland or seeing the latest blockbuster in the cinema. It feels like a template of living. Even though the comprehension of  life provides us with the understanding that this is a short-term happiness, we still allow ourselves to (ab)use these moments. It is human belief that things can be improved; that love stories can be saved; that dreams can find their hazardous way to become reality. Yes, all of it is more than possible; all of it happens all the time, but what about the things which have the tendency to  follow our moments of happiness like a dark shadows? 

Those things are happening simultaneously. Life is a game of light and darkness. 

​What about the situations in life when we find ourselves as part of collateral damage? What about our lost loves? Nevertheless, what about our broken or forgotten dreams? 

​Sorrow is equally as precious as love; hurting makes room  for improvement of empathy and solitude can sometimes be the greatest company. 

​Beautiful people you used to know are not necessary the ones you share your present with, but not being part of your life does not make them less beautiful. Lost loves are like butterflies- tragedy is crucial part of their existence. ​So, we have a choice, even when it does not seem so. We can accept or refuse; we can settle with ordinary or we can seek someting unique. We can do whatever we feel like doing or whatever we ever wanted. 

But, do we completely understand the difference between our dreams and our fears? 

You can choose your starting point as empathy or religion, but it is crucial to make a humble observation of your transience and human vulnerability. Is our fate the path we follow, or do we create the path for ourselves? It is a personal inner debate, and it is essential for understanding the distinction between our longings and our  aims. 

I believe in God, I trust in life and I love people. 

When I was younger I thought I knew exactly what I wanted from life, but along the way I realized I had just a sketch designed by my imagination within my mind. Life is the canvas (even this metaphor sounds cheap). We hope we can draw with our desires, but eventually we do it with our actions. We are mapping our lives by choosing our next step, all the while dancing under the moonlight or crying in the dark. I love to compare a life with the sea; I see both as a movement of the greatest force. 

As years passed I learned to truly embrace my imperfect life and the people who are or who were part of it; I accepted all brokenness of humans relations. In the meantime I started to live in the present moment , instead of daydreaming of future I was longing for. Yes, I do have quality time with my unconventional family, but I also  have time for my highly appreciated  much sought after creative solitude. In the personal choice of independent  living social labeling is useless. The traditional norms are needless- only beliefs and human ethics are really relevant.  The aim is to make a collection of all meaningful moments we have had a chance to  pass through.  At the end of our journey in our memory only the joyful moments and sparks of happiness will remain.   

Thanks to my choice of living I have had a chance to understand and to experience the Tolstoy's opening line of Ana Karenina: All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.

​I guess, we are a happily unhappy family; we have a family days without going to Disneyland. ​