Showing posts with label weakness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weakness. Show all posts

Saturday, 16 January 2016

Lovers are strangers

From the moment I discovered love, I never stopped loving since. Sometimes I loved for a years, sometimes for months, but in the meantime, I learned how to love for days or hours. Something strange is happening to love in general; if you ask me, I would say that broken people are happening all around the globe. 

It seems that everyone is trying to love less instead of loving more. If they are engage in emotional relationship, people prefer to receive more tenderness, care, affection and attention, rather than to give it in return for no cause. I find it to be very odd and disturbing.

I was loved and I loved back even more, through all my life, but I never thought of it as my weakness, just the opposite, it was my strength from the beginning.  

When on earth became important whom will call first and what shall be said? Love is mute, but it speaks all languages. 
Disposed and offered feelings by someone are there to be cherished and appreciated, not to be analyzed and abused in personal war with your own demons. Simply, I do not understand when love affairs happen to be transformed into war zones. It is inevitable: to kill or to be killed. 

It is clear to me that lovers fight; they fight to improve their relationship; they do it to refresh their sexual life; they fight because they care or despite that, because they are not strong enough to change their bad habits instantly; change requires time. It seeks for support, understanding and patience of the significant other. In order to evolve together, we have to accept that we have to proceed with certain changing process of ourselves. It is hard to achieve that advance; it is even harder to do it alone. 

If we do not succeed in improvement of ourselves as a better, smarter, more wise kind of person, we often intend to blame our partner, third person if needed, the situation, the circumstances and everything we could think off, but we will never accept our defeat. We will never admit we are the one whom failed. 
We will look for "better"! Why people always think they can "do better"? What better means in terms of love? It means that you will become that person who loves more.  

It is so sad to live in ignorance. It is deeply disappointing to know people spend their lives in fear of unknown; they even love in fear; in fear of being hurt. Love does not hurt, dear people, expectations does.    

After all fights with yourself and with others in name of love, only one acknowledgment remains: lovers are strangers. I found it to be beautifully inspiring for ours future love affairs, regardless for how long the love will last. 

Monday, 11 January 2016

You say you love me, but you do not, my love.

You say you love me, but you do not, my love. 

Love cannot be squeezed into one word or defined using only language, simply  because it does not belong to language. Twist your head around, It's all around you,  All is full of love. I will not try to define it, I am not a fool. 

I love words as much as I love love, but I never believed that for me or for anyone else is possible to frame complexity of love into one word, regardless the language we use. Off course, I have tendencies to describe feelings, to get a little bit closer to understanding of my inner world. We are humans and we intent to be in control, but beauty of love is in the fact that it is our of the reach. It is divine feeling and completely intuitive. If you know why you love someone, you probably do not love that person. 
Do not say you love me, because you do not. We are not lovers, neither friends, even we strongly feel both. You will protect me, you said. You will help me and be there for me! - I have heard from you many times, while we were drinking and smoking on the balcony feeling confusion of our heartbeats and coldness of winter's nights.  But you are not able to keep up with your words. You are exiled from your dreams and feelings. Today I am your friend, but tonight you will love me again and be jealous while I am kissing the other man. I will sleep in your bed again, alone, while you will spend the night on the couch. We will have puzzling fight and feel bad tomorrow, texting to each other: "I am sorry!", but thinking: I do not want to lose you. 

Then, you will start to date a girl and insist on my presence there. We are friends, right? Then you will kiss her, but stare at me. And I will drink more and laugh harder, trying to make it easier and less awkward for all of us.  I do not want to witness your deeply superficial relations, but I am doing it for some sick reason and I pretend not to care. I do it because I understand what you do not. I understand why you think you love me. 
You need me to be the person seen with my eyes. You love the version of yourself created in our most intimate moments in the crowed places during the long, confusing nights. That is what it is all about; we manage to create our own universe in presence of others. We establish addiction of other ones presence, but we did not talk about it. 
If you ask me we should never talk about feelings; we should only feel and follow it. We should let it inspire us! Allowed it to take us where we cannot go all by ourselves. We should follow our intuition and let ourselves go. 

Anyhow, tomorrow we will only be friends. 

 You do not love me, my dear, you only understand that feels right to be near me.
 If you would love me, you would not have to say it, but I would still be able to read it. So, you are drunk again, right? You love me, but it is too emotional, than too sexual and eventually too complicated. Love is never complicated, believe me. Love moves galaxies and transforms weaknesses into the strength.
It is a strong force, stronger than the sea.  

You say you love me, and I believe you. 

I knew it before I heard the words. I believe you, because I feel you. But again, if you think you love me enough, I will prove you wrong. Because, babe, love makes you brave, it makes you foolish, but it does not makes you being friends with someone. 

Thank you for your love, but if you are only ready to offer me learned version of love, than I recommend you to learn how to love someone else. 

Love, hera